Dinagally

Jason plays chess and learned at a young age.  He even went to nationals in elementary school.  I guess he has always been a nerd.  The only chess I was ever involved in was the musical in high school.  I guess I have always been a nerd too.  Our children are destined to follow in our footsteps.

Grandpa Jay brought Jason's old chess set down to Kansas a couple of weeks ago and taught Ella how to play.  Thankfully, he tolerated her very poor loosing skills and she learned the game.  The chess set is ancient.  It has the year "1988" written right on it.  It belongs in a museum. 

After being taught by her Grandpa, Ella taught Owen.  I looked on, hoping to learn a thing or two.  At one point she told him, "No, no.  You can't move that one.  It only moves dinagally".  I wanted to hear that great word again so I said, "Which way does it move?".  "Dinagally", she said.  I couldn't help but burst in to a laugh that I tried to hide and blame on the silly baby in the corner.  It was so stinking adorable. 

Yesterday, on the way home from church, I asked Ella what she had talked about in Sunday school.  She told me they read the story of the good Samaritan and that he was attacked by "3 Rogers".  "Robbers?", I asked.  "Yeah, robbers", she said. 

Make sure that you look out for Rogers in your neighborhood. 

Fat? What Fat?

My two amazing sisters came to visit us this past week.  It was joyous, nutty, hilarious and relaxing.  They make me laugh so hard that I snort and pee my pants.  Maybe that was too much information, but at least you can grasp the hilarity that ensues when we are together.   This picture was taken four years ago, but I am sure we look exactly the same now, right?

They saved me from what may have been my complete demise - single parenting all week when Jason was at a conference.  For that, I owe them the greasiest pizza from Fat Lorenzo's with pepperoni and green olives.  I am so glad they were here to play with the kiddos and keep me from losing my mind.   Unfortunately, any interest that they had in mothering has now vanished.  That happens when one child is up every 1-3 hours crying incessantly throughout the night and you get morning snuggles at 6 a.m. by the lot of them.  But hopefully the good outweighed the bad and they will come back.  Hopefully. 

As we were devouring our Braum's ice cream treats, we wondered why we can't all loose a few pounds.  It can't be that difficult.  Christine let me eat her leftover peanut butter cups at the bottom of her shake.  Thanks for that.  Then we went home and ate enchiladas, chips with fake cheese dip (don't get in my way when there is cheese dip),  guacamole and finished off with espresso laced brownies.  So, anyway, why can't we just loose a few pounds? 

My sisters motivate me in life.  They are so driven and focused on goals, always striving for something new and to better themselves.  And now they have motivated me to detox and flush the fat.  It has to be said that, aside from pregnancy and my first year of college -when my dear friend and I had a horrifying jean shopping experience,  I have never weighed what I do now.  My skin is getting revenge for never being terrible when I was a teenager and I am exhausted all the time.  I suppose we could argue that those symptoms are related to my lack of sleep, but since I can't do anything about that right now, I might as well detox.  Really, my sisters are forcing me.  But whatever, it is going to be a blast, I'm sure. 

I have just completed day two of my fat flush and my impressions are good.  The veggies, fruit and meat have all been asking where the chips and diet pop have gone.  They are a bit lonely in there.  But I'm sure my liver and thighs will thank me for the absence.  My goal is 12 more days as is, then start to add in some gluten and dairy.  Oh, cheese, how I miss you. 

Here are some photo highlights of my time with the sistas. I miss them even more than brownies. 

Samuel and Amy reading his new book

One of the few photos of my and all my kiddos!

A photo shoot with Owen taking the pics at the pool

Owen and Amy, self portrait

Mommy and Owen

Sam feeding Christine a cracker

Sam getting his evening bath from my sister's dog, Rowan

Rowan will let Sam do anything, as long as food still falls from the highchair

Ella Bella

It was a hot Sunday today, just like 6 years ago when you were born to two unsuspecting parents.  We never knew we could love a little person so much.  We never knew that you would have Daddy's brains (lucky duck), Mommy's emotional and sensitive heart, Daddy's determination and Mommy's love for babies and animals.  We never knew that you would love ice cream and Freddy's french fries - although we could have guessed based on who gave birth to you.  We never knew you would have dark hair and green eyes love to dance around the living room.  We just never could have imagined your amazing spirit that God has given you. 

The moments after you were placed on my belly I said, "What is it?" (Sorry for calling you "it") and your Daddy responded, "I don't know!!!  I can't see!!" as his eyes were full of tears.  He wiped away the tears and announced "It's a GIRL!".  I responded with, "NO WAY!" (Again, sorry for that).  You see, I was certain you were a boy despite having a very vivid dream of birthing a baby girl with dark hair while pregnant with you.  My next words were, "You're HUGE!!" (Sorry, I could teach a class on what not to say to a child.....).  At 9 pounds 8 ounces we had no clue you would be our smallest of three babies.  Thank you for surprising us that day and every day since then. 

We love you, Ella Sue, more and more each day....if that is even possible. 

7 weeks old

One year old-

Two years old-

Four years old-

6 years old-

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

We cruised down the state highway with the A/C on full blast and the Beetles telling us that life will go on.  Destination?  Canton, Kansas.  Population 790.  That happens to be 270 more people than live in our town.  We were minus one tonight as Jason had to work late.  I could feel the excitement build as the 4 of us drove down main street looking for the county fair.  Our cowboy boots were on and we were ready for some fun. 

We saw the tractor pull, the kids showing goats and getting ribbons, the rabbits and of course the cows (see previous post to understand my cow issue).  There was free food.  Who has free food these days?  This is the second large event in Kansas that has fed us for free and that says something - besides that I am cheap and love free stuff.  We ate watermelon that dripped down our fronts and shredded beef sandwiches from a cow that had been grazing in a pasture as we drove in.  Well, maybe not that fresh, but it was a really good sandwich.

 

Watching the kids experience the rodeo for the first time was fantastic.  I found it to be a little like a UFC fight.  You don't really want to watch but you can't help get excited.  Ella has a love for horses (feel free to contribute to her savings for one, or to my savings for vet bills) so I knew she would be entranced.  Sam pointed with two fingers - like the letter "k" in sign language- and spoke with great excitement in his language.  Owen just watched with wide eyes.  They screamed with excitement when the first cowboy wrestled a cow to the ground.  It made my cow fear seem really dumb. I will not be doing that anytime soon.  Note that the cowboy in the next photo is jumping off of a running horse (those scare me too, I think more than cows) and jumping on to a running cow.  What is wrong with these people? 

The shining moment was during the calf roping.  The first 6 cowboys missed the calves.  Apparently, this is very unusual and they talked about how there was "bad karma" in the ring.  I looked at Ella and realized exactly what was going on.  She was praying and talking to each calf before it was released saying, "Run fast so they won't catch you".  The next cowboy roped the calf so fast, we didn't know what had happened.  And as the crowd cheered, a wail came out of my little Ella, followed by sobs.  She felt so bad for the calf.  I'm not sure if I felt worse for the calf or my daughter.  We watched as they untied the calf and it walked away.  Ella's sobs slowed and she asked, "Do you think its Mommy is watching?  Do you think she will check on it to make sure it is o.k.?" 

Despite the sobbing, in the words of the kids, "It was the best night EVER".  They said that on the way back from the water park a few weeks ago too.  It was a really great night. 

Bliss

Living in the country is amazing.  Even more amazing is living in the country AND having a home that is 74 degrees, despite the 100 degree sticky-makes-you-unable-to-breathe humidity happening right outside the windows. Right up there in amazement is having nice bathrooms to clean off myself and my kiddos when we are covered in sunscreen, bug spray and sweat.  I'm not much for "ruffing it".  I love getting dirty with them when we can clean up and prevent heat stroke in modern ways. 

I took these photos a few weeks ago, but could take them again almost everyday.  This is what we do to beat the heat so that we are not total wimps all summer long by hiding inside.  If it was up to me, I would just be a wimp.  But they are so overjoyed with plastic and water.  I love watching them come incredibly close to seriously injuring themselves in the process (I mean that in a loving way). Hopefully, I won't be posting pictures of someones arm in a cast later this summer.....

 If you need sound effects, the neighbors asked me if we had gotten a puppy. 

 "Nope, just 3 noisy kids".

Confessions

I am afraid of cows.  I think that I always have been.  They are big.  And mysterious.  I'm not talking about the couped up kind that the kids can feed corn to through a fence, but the kind that are free roaming and look at you with that look.  You know the one.  I think they are saying, "What do you want from me, strange woman?  Do you have food or should I charge you like a bull to get you out of my space?". 

Tonight I heard the cows just on the other side of cedar trees that line our land.  They roam the pastures there and make for a fun sight when the kids can watch them graze.  I was alone and decided to venture to the other side of the dense trees to investigate.  I came around a corner and found two calves nursing (the lactation consultant in me loved this...) and the rest of the crew standing by.  Everyone, including the one really big bull, froze.  They stopped nursing and grazing and stared right at me.  It was then I realized that there was merely a single wire dividing us.  So what that it is electrified.  I can't imagine that would stop a cow from charging poor little me!  I had flashes of Pamploma and the very reason I would never run with bulls, or any animal.  I prefer not to be impaled on anything or trampled by a calf that weighs as much as me - or what I weighed in 6th grade anyway. 

I retreated quietly.  They watched.  One of the mothers took steps toward me and I saw my life flash before me.  I made it to the other side of the trees.  I was spared.  This time. 

It isn't about the cows, really.  I am a fish out of water right now and it has nothing to do with the fact that I am a city girl in the country.  It has everything to do with being broken, but not really knowing how or wanting to be fixed.  I don't know anything about cows either. 

The past few weeks (or maybe months now, but who is counting?) I have been depleted.  I'm sure the 8 of you who read this may have been wondering if I fell off into the depths.  But here I am, emerging from the pits of despair (say it like in Princess Bride because it sounds better) and finding that I am the only one who can make change in my life.  It is up to me to accept when I am broken and seek forgiveness, repentance and healing in my heart.  Healing is slightly more difficult when you wake up to a mini-excavator outside your window at 6:30 a.m. two days in a week, after being up 4 times per night with the baby....but I am moving past the lack of sleep to find clarity. 

I am a fish out of water, as I said earlier, in this crazy parenthood walk.  I don't know anything about kids or cows which could be a dangerous combination.   I hope that after years of therapy, my kids can forgive me for being the crabby, "bossy" mom (yes, Ella called me that) and for the fact that they may score very low on their aptitude tests due to my lack of structure in their days.  But for now I will continue to find my own footing.  Relying on the One.  Assisting myself before assisting others as they say.  Except I will feed them, and clothe them, and help them with Legos, and read to them, and snuggle them, and wipe their tears, and make crafts with them, and play in the pool with them and continue to do what we do.