Fortunate

I feel very fortunate.  I feel very blessed.

I suffer from trip anxiety prior to any trip we take.  If it weren't for my very sweet husband, we may not go anywhere.  Ever.

The stress of packing up a family of 5 doesn't bother me (I've made a great computer generated list to make that part easy).  But the planning, getting the animals taken care of,  and remembering to unplug every item in the house to prevent a fire when we are gone starts to wear on me.

What if Sam doesn't nap?

What if he won't nap once we go back home?

What if the kids are crabby the whole time?

What if I forget to remove an item from the refrigerator that rots by the time we get back?

What about all the stuff we need to get done at home?  

What if we spend more than our budgeted amount of money?

Blah, blah, blah....

If this anxiety is timed with a certain week during the month then there will be a major meltdown associated with the pre-trip planning.  It can get ugly.

So here we are, sitting in our hotel room on the 11th floor in a suburb of Chicago.  While Jason is off working as a physicist (I can't even spell that word), Sam is on hour 3 of a nap in the bedroom.  I just woke from a nice slumber in the middle of the day - something I don't ever do back home.  Ella and Owen are starring like zombies at the television.  The only thing they have said in the past 2 hours is, "Mom!  Look what happened to the---" when the t.v. lost a signal for about 3 seconds.  Tragedy.  (I figure since they don't watch t.v. back home that it will all balance out.  Right?)  I just ate a piece of Chicago style pizza left-over from dinner last night.  I ate half of it cold and the rest hot just to see how I liked it better.  It was so good that I would eat it frozen.  Well, you know what I mean.

I can't help think of how fortunate we are to be enjoying the luxury of food and shelter.  It makes my anxiety about taking a trip seem really ridiculous.   I feel so blessed to watch my kiddos sail through long car rides, be in awe of big cities and to see their excitement when we first walked in to our hotel room.  Who am I kidding?  I was the one jumping on the king size bed and doing a happy dance when I saw the little kitchen.   That is the same dance I did when I saw a Target across the parking lot and a Costco 2.7 miles away.

These are all luxuries.  They reach beyond our basic needs by a long shot.  I might still have anxiety about trips, but I hope I can always remember how fortunate we are to take them.

Now off to snuggle with Owen and read some books.  It seems he is actually tired of watching t.v......