Just For You

I needed to go to Target this past week.  I mean, I NEEDED to go.  It felt like some genetic predisposition; a Minnesota native who needed a fix.  It had also been a month since I was away from the house without the tiny ones.  It was time.

The problem is that I must drive 45 minutes to get there and in order to justify the time and gas, I must make the trip as productive as possible.  I make a "to do" list that is longer than what any normal human could accomplish.  Three stores in 3 hours with many items to buy.  I smell trouble, but I'm in denial.  

My first store is a success.  I make a couple of returns.  I browse for specific items.  I find them.  I check out feeling victorious. 

My second store is a wee bit different.  I'm feeling the time crunch.  I walk in to Home Depot with many things on my list, knowing that I need to come out with a vanity and sink for the new bathroom without the help of my hubby.  I don't like what I see.  I hem and haw.  It culminates with my on the phone with hubby, hunched over a vanity on display and saying (in a not so happy tone), "This is not fun for me!  This is not ME time!  This is stressful!".   As I stand up straight from my ranting, I notice a nice man with a Home Depot smock pulling a huge crate of vanities, waiting for me to move my pathetic self out of the aisle so that he could do his job.  Fantastic.  I'm surprised I didn't hear, "Can someone help the crazy woman in aisle 4?".  I bought the other items and left (quickly before the police were called) without a vanity.

I drove the 10 minutes to Target and went flying inside.  I had my OCD list on the clipboard all ready to go - all in the order in which I walk through the store.  Coupons were ready.  I was feeling great until I heard the dreaded, "The store will be closing in 20 minutes.  Please make your final selections....."  My blood pressure skyrockets.  I had only made it through produce and meat!  I went in to hyper-drive.  As the lights were being turned down, I was darting toward the checkout.  The only customer in the entire store was me, pathetic me, with a cart overflowing with food for the next several weeks.  I smiled at the gal at the checkout.  She smiled back.  I love the people who work at Target.  She even took all me coupons.  I love that.  I still felt like a big looser. 

What in the world is my point of all of this ranting?  I'm not sure, really.  But on the 45 minute drive home, I thought about my freak-out on the phone with my dear husband and I knew that it wasn't about not buying a vanity.  It was the idea that so often, "me time" as a parent is spent doing things that aren't for you, or in any way relaxing.  I don't refuel from my day when the kind people at Target are telling me that I have no more time to shop.  I may be away from the house, but I am certainly not eating my bon-bons and having a pedicure (which, you know, I never do anyway). 

Earlier in the day, my dear friend reminded me that we need to refuel daily.  I suppose my once per quarter goal isn't going to cut it.  So I have a fair amount of work to do in this area.  I made the long drive home that night count as I sat in silence.  No radio.  No screaming from that back seat.  Just my time to talk with the One and be thankful. 

Last night I had a night out with a couple of amazing women.  They are moms, wives, sisters and friends.  Laughing and talking with them refueled me.  Then I came home to a clean house, folded laundry and sleeping children - complements of my dear hubby (who may have been making up for the fact that he was late coming home from work, which made me late...but I folded laundry makes you forget about the details.....I think he is on to something).   I need another night like that.  

So tell me, what do you do for you?