I Will Not Have A Meltdown

I will not have a meltdown even though:

• I ate several pieces of Sam's Valentine candy for lunch.  He's a toddler.  He doesn't know the difference. And I didn't eat real food so that I wouldn't take in too many calories.  And calories don't count on Hallmark holidays anyway. 

• I just baked a cake for my Valentine using a cake mix, jello and lots of cream cheese frosting.  The baker in me is insulted, but I will keep it together and likely eat it with joy.  

• Our cat has had a mistaken gender identity since August.  More on that later.

• Owen's bed has been dismantled by children thinking that he needed his twin mattress to be moved upstairs to his sisters room, without adult assistance.  I'll deal with that one when the dishes are done.  

• Our desktop computer crashed on Friday and hasn't been recovered.  I may be in denial, but we will get it back.  We were in the process of finding a new system to back things up when someones little fingers pressed the wrong button.  That is several years of photos and videos that must be salvaged or this Mama may cry for weeks, possibly years, over the loss.  We are taking suggestions on this one.  

I will not have a meltdown because my kids attacked me with kisses this morning to wish me a happy Valentine's.  It was the best gift in the world.  Then I watched them ingest more sugar than should legally be allowed at a Valentine's bowling party with our homeschool co-op.  There isn't much cuter than 50 kids throwing bowling balls down bumper lanes and cheering when they get one pin, especially after ingesting high fructose corn syrup.  

I will not have a meltdown today, or tomorrow.  But maybe on Wednesday - if the computer still isn't working.  We'll see about that.   

No Emergencies

I awoke today with the wonderful mantra, "Life is not an emergency" thanks to Ann Voskamp.  

I awoke knowing that I would not hurry this life.  We headed to the doctor to have my little cherubs checked out, with great music blasting on the radio and the sun lighting our way. 

Then life happened.  

Two steps across the parking lot at the pediatrician, I found myself taking a close up view of the pavement.  With Sam snug in his sling, I had slipped on a pancake size swatch of ice and landed on my right side.  Those mother superhero response instincts had kicked in and I had shifted Sam to my left so that I didn't land on top of him.  Thank you, Jesus, for those instincts.  Now I just need a new right knee.  

Then life happened some more.  

Owen threw a delightful tantrum at the pediatricians office as they tried to get a good look at his eardrum, which was blocked by some pretty stubborn ear wax (do you love the visual?).  I am thankful that no bodily harm came to the employees there.  It wasn't a shining moment as a mom when the doctors parting words were, "He's a strong kid.  Hopefully, that strong will will help him in life."  Great.  Thanks.  Can you prescribe any medication for me? 

Then life happened a bit more.

Sam ate two suckers while Owen was throwing his fit and no adult was paying attention.  Don't try to strap a 20 month old in a car seat after they have eaten a sugary treat.  Trust me.

Then life happened even more. 

One pitiful prescription at the drug store was 65 dollars.  Seriously? 

Then life continued with more.

In the grocery store (don't ask me why I thought it would be a good idea to go there at this point) Sam grabbed every item I put in the cart and threw it on the floor.  Who designed shopping carts to allow this to happen?  I let him eat a cookie for a distraction and that lasted about 2 minutes. Ella and Owen repeatedly disobeyed my loving instructions to not run away from me.   Why, oh why, did I go grocery shopping?  

Then life happened again.  

As I unloaded the groceries from the car, Sam took this opportunity to clean the toilet with my toothbrush and toothpaste.  He was out of my sight long enough for me to walk out the door, pick up three bags and come back inside.  This boy must have inheirited my super powers becuase he is so fast.  Then I realized I bought the wrong milk.  Fantastic.  

So, this is life.  No emergencies.  Just life.  

But the sun was shining and our dear friend from Minnesota was coming to dinner.  Thank goodness for a wonderful change of pace and smiling face to snap me out of life.  We drowned ourselves in steaks...mmmm....steaks, and baked sweet potatoes, and homemade bread, and jalapeno artichoke dip, and molten chocolate cakes with fresh whipped cream, and great conversation.  Can you believe that Jason has been friends with him for 25 years?  Amazing.  

Tomorrows mantra is the same.  No emergencies.  Just life.  Bring it. 

I really love our life.   

It's Early. Again.

If you have been waiting with bated breath to hear about my early morning wake up plan, then this post is for you.  

The verdict : I love it.  

If you kids already get up for the day in the wee hours of morning, then never mind all of this.  Don't get up earlier.  I was there, for many years, and I cannot imagine seeing 4 a.m. on the clock when trying to beat the morning rush.  

Now that my kids have been a bit more kind in the wake up department, this has worked beautifully for me.  Don't get me wrong, I still am up with Samuel at night.  But that doesn't count......

It is all about my attitude.  I knew that before and it has become even more apparent now.  When I have the chance to get grounded for the day, our entire day is different.  Happy Mom = happier kids = better day.  Shocker.  

I didn't rise early every day this past week.  My goal was 3 days and last week was more than that.  But I will confess that there were two days that I canceled my alarm at 4 a.m. after being up with the baby.  I didn't even allow that buzzer to go off and hit snooze a million times.  So I resolved that I would do this when it works for me - although I crave the morning quiet time now.   I think I may do it more often.  

  Now - to get myself to go to bed a little earlier..... 

Just For You

I needed to go to Target this past week.  I mean, I NEEDED to go.  It felt like some genetic predisposition; a Minnesota native who needed a fix.  It had also been a month since I was away from the house without the tiny ones.  It was time.

The problem is that I must drive 45 minutes to get there and in order to justify the time and gas, I must make the trip as productive as possible.  I make a "to do" list that is longer than what any normal human could accomplish.  Three stores in 3 hours with many items to buy.  I smell trouble, but I'm in denial.  

My first store is a success.  I make a couple of returns.  I browse for specific items.  I find them.  I check out feeling victorious. 

My second store is a wee bit different.  I'm feeling the time crunch.  I walk in to Home Depot with many things on my list, knowing that I need to come out with a vanity and sink for the new bathroom without the help of my hubby.  I don't like what I see.  I hem and haw.  It culminates with my on the phone with hubby, hunched over a vanity on display and saying (in a not so happy tone), "This is not fun for me!  This is not ME time!  This is stressful!".   As I stand up straight from my ranting, I notice a nice man with a Home Depot smock pulling a huge crate of vanities, waiting for me to move my pathetic self out of the aisle so that he could do his job.  Fantastic.  I'm surprised I didn't hear, "Can someone help the crazy woman in aisle 4?".  I bought the other items and left (quickly before the police were called) without a vanity.

I drove the 10 minutes to Target and went flying inside.  I had my OCD list on the clipboard all ready to go - all in the order in which I walk through the store.  Coupons were ready.  I was feeling great until I heard the dreaded, "The store will be closing in 20 minutes.  Please make your final selections....."  My blood pressure skyrockets.  I had only made it through produce and meat!  I went in to hyper-drive.  As the lights were being turned down, I was darting toward the checkout.  The only customer in the entire store was me, pathetic me, with a cart overflowing with food for the next several weeks.  I smiled at the gal at the checkout.  She smiled back.  I love the people who work at Target.  She even took all me coupons.  I love that.  I still felt like a big looser. 

What in the world is my point of all of this ranting?  I'm not sure, really.  But on the 45 minute drive home, I thought about my freak-out on the phone with my dear husband and I knew that it wasn't about not buying a vanity.  It was the idea that so often, "me time" as a parent is spent doing things that aren't for you, or in any way relaxing.  I don't refuel from my day when the kind people at Target are telling me that I have no more time to shop.  I may be away from the house, but I am certainly not eating my bon-bons and having a pedicure (which, you know, I never do anyway). 

Earlier in the day, my dear friend reminded me that we need to refuel daily.  I suppose my once per quarter goal isn't going to cut it.  So I have a fair amount of work to do in this area.  I made the long drive home that night count as I sat in silence.  No radio.  No screaming from that back seat.  Just my time to talk with the One and be thankful. 

Last night I had a night out with a couple of amazing women.  They are moms, wives, sisters and friends.  Laughing and talking with them refueled me.  Then I came home to a clean house, folded laundry and sleeping children - complements of my dear hubby (who may have been making up for the fact that he was late coming home from work, which made me late...but I folded laundry makes you forget about the details.....I think he is on to something).   I need another night like that.  

So tell me, what do you do for you?